Adam Lusekelo, 25th April 2009 @ 11:42, Total Comments: 2, Hits: 1736
The other day I was having a walk and minding my own business when I spotted a young ka-chick coming towards me. She was fiddling with her phone – now opening her mouth, now sticking out her tongue, now frowning and now smiling. I then stood to let her pass by.
But, believe me dear reader the binti bumped into me. Naturally I was not amused. “Jamani Baba, samahani sana,” She apologised effusively and hurried away, still fiddling with her phone. Texting, they call it. I cautioned her that another day she might get run over by a car. Another day, I was having a cup of coffee, noticed two young lovers come into the café.
They sat and immediately each one of them started fiddling with her phone. I pitied the man. For lately, I have come to the conclusion that the department of texting belongs to the female tribe. I have come to the conclusion that were the government to ban women from texting on phones then we could witness mass suicide or have a bloody feminine instigated revolution by our mothers.
It seems that they would rather starve than miss a phone – and an expensive one too! It seems that these days if you greet a chick she is most likely to reply strangely. “How are you young lady? What’s your name?” you greet. You are most likely to get reply like this: “I am very fine. My name is Samsung - Nora Samsung…” Of course if any man has his survival instincts intact he will run like hell.
Anyway, back to the two lovers fiercely fiddling with their phones. I engaged my mind – what could they be texting? Whatever it was, I could swear that had nothing to do with quantum physics. Were they shy? Could be. Because a lot of guys and chicks, are shy, so instead of looking at the world go by they would rather bury their noses into their handsets.
The topic being texted can be guessed easily. I guess 95 per cent has nothing to do with the next budget. But most have a lot to do with promiscuity and pornography. The male lover could be chatting with his other girlfriend and arranging a date after the one he was in already. The sister could also be arranging another date with her sugar-daddy. Her rent was due from mzee.
You see this top and serious looking government honcho texting with great deliberation. You think he is part of the war against fisadis? No sir. He has actually written this to his chick: “Hey, you meet me at the same place we were last week end. I am gonna tear you apart! I will also be having your rent for six months.”
Mzee has actually texted that crap from a seminar room in a swanky hotel in downtown Dar. The topic of the seminar is ‘Fighting hunger and poverty in Tanzania’ in actuality the topic should have been titled ‘Fighting Uhanga among top government officials in Tanzania ’ Another boss is texting to his ka-chick whom he had given a job. She qualifies greatly for the job. S
he did her interview at some motel in Arusha. It took three nights for her to qualify. Then he texts: “You should really take it easy with me. Last week’s er, naughtiness from you has left me with a slipped disc. Doctors fear that I have to be taken to India for a lumbago treatment!” While texting the crap, the top aficionado in government was wearing a very serious face in a seminar in a posh hotel in Dar! And the cameras were rolling.
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Total Comments on the above stories (2)
Comment
Eh folks! The Daily News should start a page for love & sex stories to quench Adam's thirsty. Believe me if you read his stories you must come with the point of "kachick" some where. Brother,you write very analytical articles, but may be you can also be a good sex writer. Can you start a weekly tabloid? I want to see your catchy sex phrases in a tabloid and remain more focussed in the Daily News. Anyway, that is your journalistic style...go on & tunakufagilia hivyo hivyo!
Comment
good morning sir! once again i have come to read your article, frankly speaking, the article reflects the lifestyle of many people categorically, boys and girls, perhaps they think they are civilized when using the mobile phones, however they forget that it's mobile phones that stimulate the spread of HIVAIDS, Breakup of Marriages and so many other problems, in a nutshell, i would like to say that i do appreciate your work.
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